100 QUESTIONS FOR MARIAH CAREY - Süddeutsche Zeitung

... as quick as possible though, we don’t have forever, you know.
An interview by Moritz von Uslar Hotel Bayerischer Hof, Munich, December. She, the most successful female singer of all time with 17 number 1 songs, is here to receive another award – forgot which one. She had to be talked into giving this interview. (Background: Jokester Oliver Pocher called her "fatty" on national television. That hurt her. She does not want to experience anything similar ever again, understandably.) So we promise the record label that it is not cool to hate Mariah Carey. On the contrary, one thinks of her as being sad. One wants to stroke her, support her, encourage her. The lady, as stories have it, constantly breaks her heels, in the most stupid situations, too. One hundred nice, blank, oh-so-sweet questions for Mariah Carey (and still the journalist is going to ask her about her alleged addiction to pills and suicide, we'll see.) Thirty minutes: good time. An assistant hands us the catalogue of questions revised by the management, there's a "No" written behind almost half of the questions. She walks in with her entourage; lays down on the couch; exit entourage. The lying Mariah: a whole lot of Mariah at once. She is about 6'1" tall. She is lying down in a way that makes you look at her heels from below, a lot of skin, a lot of flesh. Her impressive bust. It, the bust, has the size of two big bellies. A light blue stocking like dress is stretching around her luxurious body (This dress alone could provide for a highly interesting, three-page essay: What it says about Mariah's background, her fairy tale rise to stardom, pop and pomp and her desire to be punished for all of this by someone – the whole story, the whole tragedy). She is rummaging for her asthma-spray, sprays some of it into her mouth. Smiling. It is incredibly awesome to be able to watch this – this show! – for thirty minutes now. One hundred questions? Yes, one hundred questions; and short answers, please. And don't be scared, why would you, too? We're warming up.

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1. SZ-Magazine: Red or pink?
Mariah Carey: Pink.

2. SZ: Silk or cashmere?
MC: Silk.

3. SZ: La Mer or Dr Sebagh?
MC: No brand names. I only use products that my dermatologist makes for me. My mom is Irish, I have sensitive skin.
(Pzz! The spray. She puts on her sugar sweet smile. One immediately understands this is a number, the Mariah-Carey-number: Spray, smile, find-me-cute, in this order. The thing with the breath spray is totally hip of course. She has the voice of a soul diva: vibrant, voluminous, awesomely deep.)

4. SZ: Mariah, congratulations! 17 number-one-hits, 155 Million records sold! You are the most successful female artist of all times.
MC: Great! Thanks.

5. SZ: Is there any award left, besides the Oscar, that you haven't won so far?
MC: Just the Oscar for best leading actress. The best awards are the things the fans give me. Like this one here.
(She holds up a mess out of paper, plastic foil and a photograph: handicraft work by a fan. The mess falls back down next to the couch.)

6. SZ: A rule you should follow when performing in front of a screaming herd of fans on Times Square at 8am?
MC: Have someone next to you holding a glass of hot water. Air at this time of the day can be really hard on your voice.

7. SZ: Your formula for a number-one-hit?
MC: Write a song people of every age and race can relate to.

8. SZ: Wouldn't it be fun to break Elvis' record for 18 number-ones with a cover of "In The Ghetto?"
MC: That might be fun, I mean, right? So many things could be fun.
(Smile, an ambiguous one. Oh really? Why? What is that supposed to tell us? One of the problems of 100 question is that one (reader, celebrity, journalist) often have had enough after ten of them with this much being said. She arranges her legs in a new way, pulls down the thigh end of her body-stocking down to her knee. One would like to say even less, hear even less. Too bad, it can't be done without a climax. So we're pulling this interview to its painful climax and then rest for seventy, eighty questions – us, the spray and her. Let's go.)

9. SZ: Let's talk about your upbringing, the infamous poor conditions: describe a picture illustrating this upbringing!
MC: I'm walking through Manhattan on soles consisting of holes, there's snow on the ground. You will never forget the pain that each of this steps meant.

10. SZ: Have you suffered from hunger as a child?
MC: No, not from hunger. There are various levels of poverty. At our home there were huge amounts of not exactly expensive food on the table. You know, poor people are not on a diet.

11. SZ: The name of your first Barbie?
MC: Superstar.

12. SZ: Was it a slap-on-the-face-childhood?
MC: It wasn't a happy childhood. I didn't have a childhood.

13. SZ: The best advice your mom ever gave you?
MC: Don't say "Yes, but" when you can say "Yes."

14. SZ:  Here are some names the press has given you. Give us a quick answer on whether or not you can relate to them: Diva.
MC: Okay. Fits the bill.

15. SZ: Cute, innocent, twelve-year-old girl.
MC: That's true. Yeah, that's me.

16. SZ: Cinderella.
MC: Lame. Who wants to be Cinderella?

17. SZ: The greatest voice ever since Aretha Franklin.
MC: Great compliment.

18. SZ: Bookworm.
MC: Bookworm? Bookworm, yeah. Albert Einstein, a very nice compliment, true, but that's not me. If I had more time, I'd read more books.

19. SZ: The most beautiful breakdown in music-history.
MC: The most beautiful ...
(Shaking her head. She does not continue talking. Mouth open, mouth closed. Fumbles with her spray...)

SZ: Another quick answer round. I'll recall four classic Mariah-moments of your career, you comment.
MC: I don't know if I can do that.

20. SZ: 1989 – You are 18 years old and waiting tables in a burger restaurant – did label boss Tommy Mottola point at you and say "Her! She will be my new star!"
MC: True. After he heard my voice. He never saw me waiting tables though.

21. SZ: In 1993 you married your big mentor. Tommy and Mariah celebrate a fairy tale wedding.
MC: Correct.

22. SZ: An accident, a fauxpas, a funny detail that went wrong at this wedding?
MC: The complete wedding was a farce. I'm sorry.

23. SZ: In 2001 Mariah gives an interview on MTV. She's sweating, rambling, talking nonsense. The interview gets broken off.
MC: It is hard for people who don't have any experience with TV appearances to understand this. There was a problem with my ear monitors. I had this chaos of voices in my ears but was expected to answer a question at the same time, which is hardly possible. Everyone was terribly excited. It was a joke. Things were exaggerated afterwards because I fainted two days later, and I needed medical help.

24. SZ: A suicide attempt at the climax of your exhaustion and sadness fails.
MC: That is not true. I am a far too spiritual person to even think of suicide.
(Hardly any emotions. She smiles it off. The tip of her feet bops, the bopping wanders up her leg and gets lost in her large body. Smile, smile, smile. The smile of a 6'1'' bunny that has decided to be happy.)

25. SZ: Your words addressed to Mister Luis Miguel?
(Luis Miguel, biggest pop star in Latin America, the break up with who supposedly triggered Mariah's nervous breakdown.)
MC: Tell him I said hi. There are no bitter feelings, no anger. I mean...

26. SZ: A song that makes you change the station because it reminds you of a long gone love?
MC: There is none. I love music. No matter what song.

27. SZ: Speaking through singing: Which song text from your new album best summarizes your emancipation, your overcoming your crisis?
MC: There are parts of the spiritual "Fly Like A Bird."
(From now on there is smiling non-stop. The Spray, partly relaxing means of course, should be somewhere between her and the couch's back. It stays hidden there. How easy everything gets once you decided nothing is going to touch you anymore – hey! Sweet! Sweet! A finger in her curly mane. The finger takes the hair, again and again, takes it as if it was a crochet thread.)

28. SZ: Mariah, what is the most beautiful sound, created by Mother Nature maybe, that you have ever heard with your own ears?
MC: I love the sound of the ocean.

29. SZ: If you're being exact: is it a five or a 41/2 octave range?
MC: Depends on whether I had an exhausting performance the day before and whether I got my sleep. Today it might just be one octave.

30. SZ: The last President of the U.S. you granted a private performance?
MC: President Clinton. His daughter Chelsea arranged that.

31. SZ: What helps against hoarseness?
MC: Hot water.

32. SZ: Can you confirm rumors about you performing live at a New Year's Soiree given by Saif al-Gaddafi on the Bahamas?
(Saif al-Gaddafi, 33, architect, son of Libya's president Muammar al-Gaddafi.)
MC: I am this Mariah Carey and I have never heard of this invitation.

33. SZ: Is it true that you can hold an "and" – one just has to think of your hymn "Vision Of Love" – for ten seconds?
MC: An "and" is not that easy because the "n" isn't easy to hold. But ten seconds? I can do that. Ten seconds are really not that long.

34. SZ: Are you, in one way or he other, a country singer?
MC: A country singer ... wait a minute, I have to think about that. No. Do you think I'm a country singer? My father is black. I can't be a country singer. I'm outside this category.

35. SZ: Your height in centimeters?
MC: I am 5 foot and 9 inches tall. You'll have to translate that. (5 foot, 9 inches are 175cm/1,75m)
Of course I'm taller when I'm wearing shoes. People always think I'm tiny until they meet me for the first time. They'll be like "Huh! You're tall!"

36. SZ: Your optimum weight?
MC: I don't measure by pounds, I measure by how my clothes fit. I'm a muscular girl.

37. SZ: Your message to the millions of women out there dieting.
MC: Be realistic. Be more loving to yourselves. Forget the diets. They hurt you. Working out is much better for your health.

38. SZ: The biggest truth you can say about plastic surgery.
MC: I think that is a very personal decision. Once you started it's hard to stop.

39. SZ: An animal you want to e compared to? No, another question: Do you agree that you have the natural appearance of a bunny?
MC: Of a bunny?
(Laughter. She enjoys this, combs her hair back with her hands before returning into her original position: the smiling.)
Wow. Thanks. That's really cute.

40. SZ: Major question: What is an Air Kiss?
MC: An Air Kiss is how you greet other people from the music or movie business. You don't wanna ruin your or their make up. If it's a guy you don't wanna ruin his collar, his suit or his make up. So what you do is you stop an inch before the other person's face and kiss the air.

41. SZ: When was the last time you cried in front of the T.V.?
MC: I cry about so many things. There are so many things touching you right in the heart. I cry about letters. A girl wrote me she had been abused in her childhood and that my music was helping her a lot to cope with that traumatic experience. It touches me when I get to know how I influence other people's lives.

42. SZ: Do you agree that you have the aura of a woman who knows pain?
MC: Really? I come into a room and you think of pain? That's not good.

43. SZ: More specific now: Are you experiencing an unbearable pain anywhere in your body?
MC: I'm hungry.

44. SZ: If you bop, which part of your body bops the most?
MC: My hips?

45. SZ: When you're lovesick, what part of your body hurts the most?
MC: The soul.

46. SZ: Not an expert on pain?
MC: Not an expert on pain, no. Certainly not. That would be terrible. I don't think I can enjoy pain. I went through painful periods just like anyone does. I now have words for those periods and I can sing about them. That gives the pain a belated meaning.

47. SZ: Your record for sleeping long?
MC: I wake up in between. Get up, eat, go back to sleep. I can make it for 15 hours like this. I can stay in bed for five, six days and longer even.

48. SZ: Your quirk when you're nervous?
MC: I don't know that. I'm different than that. I've learned to keep my hands still, especially when the tension is rising around me.

49. SZ: During your infamous vocal rests you hold up signs. What are some of the funniest messages on those?
MC: "No", "Hot Tamale".
(A typical Mariahism, meaning "extremely hot, sexy, extraordinary, glamorous", it unfolds its humor and charm through inflationary use in meaningless, inappropriate situations especially.)
"Spare me the details."

50. SZ: Is it correct that your therapist is a reverend?
MC: You could say that, yeah.

51. SZ: What's your therapist's name?
MC: Reverend Clarence Keaton.

52. SZ: What was Reverend Clarence Kaeton's last useful advice?
MC: He really just wants me to relax, take breaks, stay in contact with myself, stay with me. And he wants me to call him whenever I need his help, no matter what time of day it is.

53. SZ: Do you agree that it would be a stupid idea to fall in love with one's therapist?
MC: Most of my doctors are women. So that's not an issue for me.
(Now, oopsie daisy, we want to deal with a serious issue: how tired, sad, depressed is he really? Here's our little Mariah-Health-Check.)

54. SZ: Are you still addicted to the T.V.?
MC: Never have been. I've always just been addicted to the radio.

55. SZ: Are you still addicted to "Old El Paso cheese flavored tortilla chips"?
MC: Never have been. I love New York Pizza.

56. SZ: Test question: How many calories does a banana have?
MC: I have no clue.

57. SZ: A vitamin product you swear by?
MC: There's this B1 product that doesn't taste bitter but sweet.

58. SZ: Name something that is good for sleeping problems. Something you'd recommend because it's not addictive and still helps.
MC: I'd recommend hot milk with honey.

59. SZ: The most glamorous medicine on earth available only by prescription?
MC: I don't know the answer to that question.

60. SZ: Do you agree that you're addicted to comebacks? You must have had three of them.
MC: Everyone keeps talking about this comeback theory. The truth is: You can't write anyone off if they are talented and don't give up on that talent. No, I'm not addicted to comebacks. I'm addicted to music.

Four major questions, the broadest question on earth - here it goes! Oh my gosh.

61. SZ: What makes life worth living?
MC: God gave us life, that's a blessing. You have to take it as a gift not as a punishment. Jesus, there are so many wonderful things on earth: Music, friends, colleagues. The hard thing is to realize and accept what you have been given.

62. SZ: What is your proof fort he fact that there is a God?
MC: No proofs. Prove me wrong. I talk to Him, every day.

63. SZ: Are you glad to be alive?
MC: Absolutely.

64. SZ: Can we, your fans, help you to become an even happier person?
(Oh Gosh, what a question, the absolute low point.)
MC: I hate when you think I'm not happy. I don't know what makes you think that. Stop it!
(She smiles even while shouting these words - unbelievable! Our result: She either is hopelessly depressive or an addict. Or: an All-American girl, cute, nice and pink, one that just sells more CDs than any of the other. It possibly is the latter one. Following: Glamour-Questions, Mariah-style.)

65. SZ: What is the most unusual fashion rule Andre Leon Talley, Vogues's editor-at-large, has taught you?
MC: No, no rules. What Andre says is that style comes from the inside. He is such a sensible, cultivated - a wonderful person.

66. SZ: Are we right when observing that you are experimenting with a 1930s-Marlene-Dietrich style lately?
MC: I'd rather say: Late 1950s, Marilyn Monroe. For a certain night, that's true, I was inspired by the Marlene-Dietrich-Style.

67. SZ: How long does it take for your nails to dry?
MC: Depends on who does them. Long, too long.

68. SZ: The most beautiful steps on earth that you have ever walked down - in haute couture, one hand on the railing, the other one on your security guy's shoulder.
MC: The Spanish Steps in Rome. I was just wearing ordinary clothes though, not haute couture. It was a spontaneous idea. I wanted to surprise my fans.

69. SZ: The sexiest object in your living room?
MC: Oh, I wanna mention a new decorative piece in my bathroom here: a purple colored chandelier decorated with baroque flower patterns.

70. SZ: Your most romantic experience in a stretch limousine?
MC: Overrated stretch limousines! All these hip hop videos create a contorted, unrealistic image of stretch limousines. There's no room, no intimacy. The driver hears everything.

71. SZ: For the show, the big entrance: Are you good at simulating nervous breakdowns?
MC: Since I never had a nervous breakdown myself, I wouldn't know how to simulate one. I mean, would it be considered a nervous breakdown if I hurled this glass off the table? Like "Huh, there's a broken glass on the floor. Come on everybody, help me!" Was that good? I mean, please, come on.

72. SZ: If the typical Hip Hop thing to do is wear diamonds in your mouth - as dentures, so to say. Which parts of the body are typical for R'n'B?
I'd say the cleavage.

73. SZ: How many carats can you wear on one finger at maximum?
MC: As many as I'm given. No, seriously. A diamond ring cannot be too heavy. If the ring gets too heavy, I'll use it for weight lifting.

74. SZ: The most rocking piece in your jewellery collection?
MC: Rocking as in expensive? As in remarkable? Do you know the rap group The Diplomats? The most beautiful, the boldest piece was given to me by Cam'ron from the hardcore rap group The Diplomats. He took it off his necklace and gave it to me.

75. SZ: How many dollars does one have to pay fort he diamond studded fish net stockings from your underwear line Mariah Kiss Kiss?
MC: We don't have the fish net stockings yet because I personally don't wear fishnet stockings. Once we'll have them we'll give you a reasonable price.

76. SZ: Is it true that you get a head ache when not wearing high heels?
MC: It's true that I don't have any experience at all when it comes to walking without heels.

77. SZ: Do you know a more up-to-date, a more extensive vision than, to make it short, Louis Vuitton?
MC: Oh, yes.
(Now she swings her legs off the couch; sits straight; abruptly throws her curly mane to the front and back - this is how female horseback acrobatics fix their hair. The splendor of her hair, the splendor of her smile, the splendor of her breasts. For everyone who has not gotten it by now: She is brutally sexy. We love her.)

78. SZ: Are we right when observing you are a very very feminine person?
MC: I feel like a feminine woman, oh yes. I hope that doesn't scare you.

79. SZ: Are you ever fed up with eternally smiling, smiling, smiling?
MC: Sometimes, yes. I prefer laughing.

80. SZ: Your definition of emancipation?
MC: To free from restraint, control, oppression ort he power of another.

81. SZ: Your self-defense-technique?
MC: My brother taught me some combinations when I was little. He was a professional kick-boxer.

82. SZ: Do you agree with us when we say you're an icon of survival and liberation?
MC: I know that I can be a role model for woman who have been under bad influences and now are taking their lives in their own hands and I appreciate that. I always hope I can help people.

83. SZ: The first names of your best girlfriends?
MC: Josephine, Rachel.

84. SZ: The rules of a Mariah-Pyjama-Party?
MC: Be faster.
(Be faster. That's all she says. Imagine Mariah, Josephine and Rachel playing tag in their pj's.)

85. SZ: The content of your favorite movie "Mean Girls"?
MC: High school dramas.

86. SZ: The translation of your favorite word "fetch"?
MC: Good. Awesome. Special. Unique. I don't know. In "Mean Girls" that's what the dumb girl, the one who isn't allowed to join in, asks the gang: "What the heck is this fetch thing all about?" It's slang, from England. I'd translate it with "Making the impossible possible."

87. SZ: Do you agree that you, as a strong woman, are an icon for gays?
MC: I've heard of that, yeah.

88. SZ: One thing that non-gay men could learn from gay men?
MC: Manners. Gay men are going out with the most fabulous women. Now why is that, I ask myself.

(Ending: Men. We didn't talk about men yet.)

89. SZ: How does the "One and Only" look this spring 2006? The one every R'n'B ballad is talking about?
MC: He needs to be calm and very self-secure to keep up with my lifestyle.

90. SZ: Is it easier to fall for a security guy or a background singer?
MC: Of course, a major stupid question! No, it's a good question sadly. I know my background singers too well to fall in love with them. No, it's not that easy.

91. SZ: Can you still count all the men you had sex with?
MC: Yes.

92. SZ: The first name of your current boyfriend - which you want to reveal as a world exclusive here in SZ-Magazin?
MC: Jack. My dog.

(After the interview our reporter is going to be on the elevator with a member of her entourage and a Latin-looking guy (not very noticeable, rather small, Baggy pants). Exit Latin guy. The member of the entourage, giving him a nod as he leaves: "That was him by the way. Her new guy." Thank you, Mariah. Finally we want to have the minimum of what can be said: sweet nothing. Not a problem for her. She rediscovered her breath spray. Pzz!)

93. SZ: How is Jack?
MC: Great. He's on the cover of the new K9 magazine.

94. SZ: How is Whitney?
MC: Whitney Houston? I haven't talked to her for quite some time.

95. SZ: Do you have any information on the current state of Elizabeth Taylor's health? Information that others don't have access to?
MC: I'm afraid not. Sorry.

96. SZ: How do you keep a living butterfly?
MC: Delicate thing. You'll need a certain temperature, a certain humidity. I only have this one right here. (Holds up her right hand. There's a diamond butterfly on her ring finger.)
My lucky charm.

97. SZ: Your advice for the first female chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel? Is she going to be successful in this bad, bad world of men?
MC: I'm sure she knows her job better than I do. Be strong. Stay independent. Don't let the male egos get you down.

98. SZ: And your message to all the ladies walking down the big, red carpet and - crack - there goes the heel.
MC: Enjoy it. Make a moment of it. Take the heel and the shoe and give it to a fan.

99. SZ: Are you seriously claiming to still believe in Santa Claus?
MC: Don't we all?

100. SZ: Your question to Marilyn Monroe?
MC: How are you, daahling?